"You have an amazing faith!"...
"No, I have an amazing God who has provided heaven and eternal life for His own."~me
Conversation yesterday w/my "new" dentist here in ColoSpgs. Had never met him but he walked in, shook my hand, and said my name correctly: pronounced "bear." I said to him smiling, "I'm impressed! Usually, I'm a "bore!" ...He said, "Are you Cedric Boehr's wife?" ...I said, "Yes, but he was killed about a year ago." ...He said, "I was just with someone that he worked with recently, and they told me about your husband. I'm so sorry." (And then he pulled his stool around and asked more questions of me about the accident). I told him that it was an awful accident and how it happened and how I heard the ambulances & first responders go screaming by our home not knowing they were going to help Cedric. And, then I told him how Cedric almost avoided the man careening across the road...he was about 10-12inches short of avoiding the gentleman when his body was sideswiped and the motorcycle he was on was laid over with him next to it.
....the dentist asked details, and listened carefully. I later thought if dentistry didn't work out, he could put a "shingle" out for counseling! :)))
....Anyway, I didn't want to end the conversation w/just the details of the accident. So, the Lord gave the opportunity ~ like He does (!) to bring the conversation to a place where He is given glory. And, I shared how "not even a little sparrow falls, but God knows, and how much more He cares for His own;" certainly, Cedric was one of His own, passing from this life to eternal life. This is my true and living hope.
..."You have an amazing faith! ~ my dentist ..."No, I have an amazing God who has provided heaven and eternal life for His own, and I trust Him...even w/my husband whom I so loved. "~me
...And I left the office and wept. The Lord is with me and truly with each of His own.
"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Music & Worship – An Integral Part of our Oneness
Music was such a part of “us!” I miss his beautiful tenor voice and blending my alto with him. What oneness we experienced in music and worship!
Nine months ago today my best friend and dearest husband went on to heaven to be with Jesus our precious Savior. As I’ve contemplated and thought about this especially in the last few days, I have been remembering all the many songs of worship that Cedric and I sang together over the 36 years that we knew one another.
We began singing together in choir at Grace University in Omaha, NE as college freshmen – he sang tenor, and I sang alto. We met on a choir retreat in September of 1977; we were assigned to the same “get acquainted” small group at the retreat, and we did enjoy getting acquainted. We had a mutual love of the outdoors and horses. Later, Cedric told me that he was also attracted to my “nice legs.” I was attracted to his smiling blue eyes. (Hmm!) Yes, we were also glad of each other’s love for the Lord Jesus and our spiritual interests! …Anyway, the Lord gave us the desire to know one another MUCH more and a fast, vibrant, delightful and inseparable friendship developed.
Shortly after we began singing in the choir, we both auditioned for one of the scholarship singing quartets that would travel and represent the university for a year. There would be two groups chosen; Cedric and I were chosen to be in the same quartet, and we began to practice with the bass, Sid Litke, soprano-Jeanne Powell, and pianist-Rosie (Harder) Rothaar. We practiced 5-6 days a week for a couple of months and then began our travel to churches, retreats, and conferences on behalf of the university often traveling with a faculty member for the weekend. We gave concerts and shared our testimonies of what God was doing in our individual lives. Grace University asked that we travel 3 out of 4 weekends each month and 7 weeks in the summer. The summer travel included 4 weeks of camps where we also served as counselors and 3 weeks of one-night concerts at various churches. Our summer tour took us to Iowa, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and Nebraska. ….We sang a LOT together!! And, we saw each other in every type of situation; in traveling & ministering together with the quartet we had good times as well as trying times when we had had very little sleep sometimes becoming quite “ministry fatigued!” We also had the pressure of dating steadily and not allowing that attraction to each other to be evident in public while ministering in churches and camps. Occasionally, we asked for and received permission from the faculty traveling with us to take some time alone as a “couple” away from the rest of the quartet members.
Additionally, in the fall of our freshman year, both Cedric and I took voice lessons at Grace – I took lessons from his father, John Boehr, and Cedric took lessons from Mr. Leland Flickinger. Voice students were required to do a recital each semester, and we requested that we do a duet piece together rather than the traditional solos. Our instructors happily agreed, and we received “great marks” together singing, “The Lord is my Shepherd” by Henry Smart.
At our wedding that came only a year and a half after meeting each other, we sang our “Wedding Prayer” together in a tenor and alto duet. That summer and the next summer we sang wedding duets for more than 15 couple friends of ours, traveling all around the country. What fun we had together! Over the years we continued to sing at many weddings.
In our third year of marriage, the Lord gave us the idea to put together a Sweetheart Banquet for our church with the help of other couples. We did the music part of the banquet singing many love songs from musicals such as “One Hand, One Heart,” “Do you Love Me?,” “I Remember Meeting You..,” “You Don’t Bring me Flowers Anymore,” etc.! We told the story of meeting, courtship, romance, and marriage through music weaving the testimony of God’s grace and love through the program. We did at least 15 of these banquets – maybe more!
From our first months of marriage until our last 34 years later, we sang often in worship in the churches that we were a part of over the years. And, we had the joy of singing in a variety of churches with various tastes in worship styles. Our love, as a couple, was for music that encompassed the Truth of the Word and the Beauty and Holiness of the Creator that we were directing our worship towards. So, we actually enjoyed a very broad spectrum of music. Cedric was keen on the music being written well; he could create and write some wonderful arrangements for us as a couple as well as for our family or a choral group.
We not only LOVED leading in worship in our church, but we LOVED singing together as a family. I used to remind Cedric that, “not very many families have this enjoyment of making music together. Since God has given us this gift of music, we should sing often and enjoy it and pass it on to our children and grandchildren also.” And he appreciated my encouragement and so we did sing as a family! We sang at least once and often twice each day with our family devotionals. When the children grew old enough, we asked them to take turns choosing a praise song as well as a hymn for the family to sing.
Eventually the children grew up and “left the nest,” and Cedric and I continued to sing together at mealtime with our evening devotional. We still loved harmonizing with our tenor and alto voices. What deeply, irreplaceable, treasured times of worship – just he and I in song, prayer, and in reading the Word together!
Times change when our children marry and then again when grandchildren begin to arrive, but we were blessed to enjoin them in worshiping and singing around the table usually with Cedric playing the guitar while he led us in worship. To have a time of devotion and worship isn’t necessarily easy when there are various families involved, but I encouraged him to continue to lead us, simply inviting our loved ones to join us in the time that we always had together as a couple. To our great delight, our children, spouses, and grandchildren remember those times around our table of worship around the Word and in singing as a family. I’m so very grateful!
Today, nine months after his accident and death, I miss his beautiful tenor voice and blending my alto together with him creating one beautiful tone as one. But, I’m reminded that we will be singing together for all eternity someday. I look forward to that day with great hope and joy!
How Deep the Father’s Love for Us and In Christ Alone were a couple of our very favorite worship songs in the last few years. We sang them often in our private and public worship. – Their words are rich with Truth and the music is beautiful also.
HOW DEEP THE FATHER’S LOVE FOR US
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He would give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross
My guilt upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no powr's, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
©1995 Kingsway's Thankyou Music
Words and Music by Stuart Townend
IN CHRIST ALONE
In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.
There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.
"In Christ Alone"
Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright © 2001 Kingsway Thankyou Music
Nine months ago today my best friend and dearest husband went on to heaven to be with Jesus our precious Savior. As I’ve contemplated and thought about this especially in the last few days, I have been remembering all the many songs of worship that Cedric and I sang together over the 36 years that we knew one another.
We began singing together in choir at Grace University in Omaha, NE as college freshmen – he sang tenor, and I sang alto. We met on a choir retreat in September of 1977; we were assigned to the same “get acquainted” small group at the retreat, and we did enjoy getting acquainted. We had a mutual love of the outdoors and horses. Later, Cedric told me that he was also attracted to my “nice legs.” I was attracted to his smiling blue eyes. (Hmm!) Yes, we were also glad of each other’s love for the Lord Jesus and our spiritual interests! …Anyway, the Lord gave us the desire to know one another MUCH more and a fast, vibrant, delightful and inseparable friendship developed.
Shortly after we began singing in the choir, we both auditioned for one of the scholarship singing quartets that would travel and represent the university for a year. There would be two groups chosen; Cedric and I were chosen to be in the same quartet, and we began to practice with the bass, Sid Litke, soprano-Jeanne Powell, and pianist-Rosie (Harder) Rothaar. We practiced 5-6 days a week for a couple of months and then began our travel to churches, retreats, and conferences on behalf of the university often traveling with a faculty member for the weekend. We gave concerts and shared our testimonies of what God was doing in our individual lives. Grace University asked that we travel 3 out of 4 weekends each month and 7 weeks in the summer. The summer travel included 4 weeks of camps where we also served as counselors and 3 weeks of one-night concerts at various churches. Our summer tour took us to Iowa, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and Nebraska. ….We sang a LOT together!! And, we saw each other in every type of situation; in traveling & ministering together with the quartet we had good times as well as trying times when we had had very little sleep sometimes becoming quite “ministry fatigued!” We also had the pressure of dating steadily and not allowing that attraction to each other to be evident in public while ministering in churches and camps. Occasionally, we asked for and received permission from the faculty traveling with us to take some time alone as a “couple” away from the rest of the quartet members.
Additionally, in the fall of our freshman year, both Cedric and I took voice lessons at Grace – I took lessons from his father, John Boehr, and Cedric took lessons from Mr. Leland Flickinger. Voice students were required to do a recital each semester, and we requested that we do a duet piece together rather than the traditional solos. Our instructors happily agreed, and we received “great marks” together singing, “The Lord is my Shepherd” by Henry Smart.
At our wedding that came only a year and a half after meeting each other, we sang our “Wedding Prayer” together in a tenor and alto duet. That summer and the next summer we sang wedding duets for more than 15 couple friends of ours, traveling all around the country. What fun we had together! Over the years we continued to sing at many weddings.
In our third year of marriage, the Lord gave us the idea to put together a Sweetheart Banquet for our church with the help of other couples. We did the music part of the banquet singing many love songs from musicals such as “One Hand, One Heart,” “Do you Love Me?,” “I Remember Meeting You..,” “You Don’t Bring me Flowers Anymore,” etc.! We told the story of meeting, courtship, romance, and marriage through music weaving the testimony of God’s grace and love through the program. We did at least 15 of these banquets – maybe more!
From our first months of marriage until our last 34 years later, we sang often in worship in the churches that we were a part of over the years. And, we had the joy of singing in a variety of churches with various tastes in worship styles. Our love, as a couple, was for music that encompassed the Truth of the Word and the Beauty and Holiness of the Creator that we were directing our worship towards. So, we actually enjoyed a very broad spectrum of music. Cedric was keen on the music being written well; he could create and write some wonderful arrangements for us as a couple as well as for our family or a choral group.
We not only LOVED leading in worship in our church, but we LOVED singing together as a family. I used to remind Cedric that, “not very many families have this enjoyment of making music together. Since God has given us this gift of music, we should sing often and enjoy it and pass it on to our children and grandchildren also.” And he appreciated my encouragement and so we did sing as a family! We sang at least once and often twice each day with our family devotionals. When the children grew old enough, we asked them to take turns choosing a praise song as well as a hymn for the family to sing.
Eventually the children grew up and “left the nest,” and Cedric and I continued to sing together at mealtime with our evening devotional. We still loved harmonizing with our tenor and alto voices. What deeply, irreplaceable, treasured times of worship – just he and I in song, prayer, and in reading the Word together!
Times change when our children marry and then again when grandchildren begin to arrive, but we were blessed to enjoin them in worshiping and singing around the table usually with Cedric playing the guitar while he led us in worship. To have a time of devotion and worship isn’t necessarily easy when there are various families involved, but I encouraged him to continue to lead us, simply inviting our loved ones to join us in the time that we always had together as a couple. To our great delight, our children, spouses, and grandchildren remember those times around our table of worship around the Word and in singing as a family. I’m so very grateful!
Today, nine months after his accident and death, I miss his beautiful tenor voice and blending my alto together with him creating one beautiful tone as one. But, I’m reminded that we will be singing together for all eternity someday. I look forward to that day with great hope and joy!
How Deep the Father’s Love for Us and In Christ Alone were a couple of our very favorite worship songs in the last few years. We sang them often in our private and public worship. – Their words are rich with Truth and the music is beautiful also.
HOW DEEP THE FATHER’S LOVE FOR US
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He would give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross
My guilt upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no powr's, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
©1995 Kingsway's Thankyou Music
Words and Music by Stuart Townend
IN CHRIST ALONE
In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.
In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.
There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.
No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.
"In Christ Alone"
Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright © 2001 Kingsway Thankyou Music
Saturday, February 4, 2012
"God does not always answer prayer in kind, tho' He always does in effect."
Originally Posted on FB: May 20, 2010
"And he requested for himself that he might die." I Kings 19:4
"It was a remarkable thing that the man who was never to die, for whom God had ordained an infinitely better lot, the man who should be carried to heaven in a chariot of fire, and be translated, that he should not see death--should thus pray, "Let me die, I am no better than my fathers." We have here a memorable proof that God does not always answer prayer in kind, though He always does in effect. He gave Elias something better than that which he asked for, and thus really heard and answered him. Strange was it that the lion-hearted Elijah should be so depressed by Jezebel's threat as to ask to die, and blessedly kind was it on the part of our heavenly Father that He did not take His desponding servant at his word. There is a limit to the doctrine of the prayer of faith. We are not to expect that God will give us everything we choose to ask for. We know that we sometimes ask, and do not receive, because we ask amiss. If we ask for that which is not promised--if we run counter to the spirit which the Lord would have us cultivate--if we ask contrary to His will, or to the decrees of his providence--if we ask merely for the gratification of our own ease, and without an eye to His glory, we must not expect that we shall receive. Yet, when we ask in faith, nothing doubting, if we receive not the precise thing asked for, we shall receive an equivalent, and more than an equivalent, for it. As one remarks, "If He does not give you precisely what you ask for, He will give you that which is tantamount to it, and that which you will greatly rejoice to receive in lieu thereof. Be then, dear reader, much in prayer, and make this time a season of earnest intercession , but take heed what you ask."
This is from a devotional by Charles Spurgeon entitled Morning and Evening.
"Prayer is one of the most wonderful blessings for me as a believer in Christ. "Just think! What a miracle to be able to approach my Savior, the Savior of the world and my Creator, with my deepest or smallest heart's issues. (Hebrews 4:15&16) Amazing! But, prayer is not like a gumball machine where you put in a nickel and the machine gives you a whatever you want. God always answers us according to what is best for us according to what draws us to be more conformed to His image. (Rom.8:28&29) Because He has redeemed me and calls me by name, and because He loves me with an everlasting love, I can trust Him to answer my prayers rightly. (Isa.43:1, Jer.31:3)
Praise the Lord."---Sandi Boehr
"And he requested for himself that he might die." I Kings 19:4
"It was a remarkable thing that the man who was never to die, for whom God had ordained an infinitely better lot, the man who should be carried to heaven in a chariot of fire, and be translated, that he should not see death--should thus pray, "Let me die, I am no better than my fathers." We have here a memorable proof that God does not always answer prayer in kind, though He always does in effect. He gave Elias something better than that which he asked for, and thus really heard and answered him. Strange was it that the lion-hearted Elijah should be so depressed by Jezebel's threat as to ask to die, and blessedly kind was it on the part of our heavenly Father that He did not take His desponding servant at his word. There is a limit to the doctrine of the prayer of faith. We are not to expect that God will give us everything we choose to ask for. We know that we sometimes ask, and do not receive, because we ask amiss. If we ask for that which is not promised--if we run counter to the spirit which the Lord would have us cultivate--if we ask contrary to His will, or to the decrees of his providence--if we ask merely for the gratification of our own ease, and without an eye to His glory, we must not expect that we shall receive. Yet, when we ask in faith, nothing doubting, if we receive not the precise thing asked for, we shall receive an equivalent, and more than an equivalent, for it. As one remarks, "If He does not give you precisely what you ask for, He will give you that which is tantamount to it, and that which you will greatly rejoice to receive in lieu thereof. Be then, dear reader, much in prayer, and make this time a season of earnest intercession , but take heed what you ask."
This is from a devotional by Charles Spurgeon entitled Morning and Evening.
"Prayer is one of the most wonderful blessings for me as a believer in Christ. "Just think! What a miracle to be able to approach my Savior, the Savior of the world and my Creator, with my deepest or smallest heart's issues. (Hebrews 4:15&16) Amazing! But, prayer is not like a gumball machine where you put in a nickel and the machine gives you a whatever you want. God always answers us according to what is best for us according to what draws us to be more conformed to His image. (Rom.8:28&29) Because He has redeemed me and calls me by name, and because He loves me with an everlasting love, I can trust Him to answer my prayers rightly. (Isa.43:1, Jer.31:3)
Praise the Lord."---Sandi Boehr
Friday, February 3, 2012
Just a Little R-E-S-P-E-C-T...."And the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33
Originally Posted on FB: February 11, 2010
February is the time of year when we try to honor those that we love. We especially think of our husbands and romance; we look forward to adding some "sizzle" to our relationship with them! Greeting card companies, intimate apparel stores, and restaurants vie for our dollars. Now, before you go our and purchase anything this year I want you to think about giving a gift that will help keep the "home fires of love" burning hot for a very long time! Ladies, I encourage you to give your husbands the gift of unconditional respect. In order to do this we must have a proper "view" of our husband in his role, we must realize the necessity of forgiveness, we must see him as our one and only, and lastly, we must practically begin the daily exercise of respect.
AN ARMY OF ONE?...
First of all, we will be able to lavishly pour out respect upon our husbands by having a proper "view" of him and his role in our marriage. "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which He is the Savior." (Ephesians 5:23). Because our husbands have been given this position of headship they are endowed with great responsibilities, duties, and sacrifice on behalf of us, their wives. They are deeply dependent upon our honor to help them pursue the demands of biblical leadership. Nancy Wilson tells us how to do this in "The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman." She says, "We need to cultivate a high view of our husbands...He is one of a kind and God has a special work for him to do. You have the privilege of being God's appointed helper for him. Have a high view of this calling and a biblical view of your responsibilities associated with this calling. Your view will improve as you apply God's teaching. Your husband will appreciate your obedience and be set free to live up to all God has called him to be." We can ask the Lord to cultivate a proper "view" of our husband and his role so that we can freely give our respect without any reservations.
TOO MUCH DIRTY LAUNDRY...
Furthermore, we must realize the necessity of forgiveness in our marriage; without it, it is impossible to unconditionally respect our husbands because our natural minds will inevitably carry a "laundry list" of his past offenses. God in His Word counsels us, "Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (Colossians 3:13, Living Bible). Since we are to forgive as Christ forgave us, let's look at Jesus's example; He died on the Cross taking upon Himself all of our sins and offered us unconditional forgiveness. Note that He offered this even before we said that we were sorry! Through His power we are given the ability and strength to offer our husbands this same kind of forgiveness for past, present, and future mistakes and wrongs whether they were related to finances, job decisions, moral choices, parenting, etc. Not only are we called to forgive, but we are called to forgive an infinite number of times. Peter asked Jesus how many times we are to forgive one another. Peter wondered if seven times would be enough. Christ answered, "No--seventy times seven!!" (Matthew 18:22). Forgiveness makes giving the love gift of unconditional respect possible.
MY FATHER'S ADVICE...
In addition, we must see our husband as our one and only love holding hm in high regard; this makes it possible to bathe him in unconditional respect. "What is your perspective when you look at your husband? When you think of him, when you speak to him, when you pray for him, what is your view? Is it a biblical view? In the Song of Solomon 2:3 we see a delightful view of the beloved: 'Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, so is my beloved among the sons.' When you think of your husband, is he an apple tree in the forest? He should be. Or, do you see one tree in the forest, dwarfed by many other imposing trees of greater stature? Perhaps you need to adjust your view." (Fruit of Her Hands) Before I was married all of my friends and relatives knew of my high regard for my "one and only" speaking of his attributes to anyone who would listen! My father spoke of retaining that passionate love which held Cedric in high regard. He gave me one small but very important piece of advice in the week preceding my marriage to Cedric. He told me to "never forget my first love."
LOVE PILATES...
Finally, we must practically begin the daily exercise of respect by doing two things. First, I encourage you to write a "respect letter" itemizing the things you admire about him and have taken for granted. List them even if they seem trivial. Emphasize his work, abilities, and achievements. Leave love out of the letter until the very end. After the letter is written and given, begin showing respect "out loud." For instance, let your kids, neighbors, and relatives hear you praise him. God, the Master Creator, has designed your husband to need respect, and He commanded you to be the principle source of it. Secondly, I recommend that you memorize and meditate on Eph. 5:22-33, Prov. 14:1, 12:4, 30:5, 31:11-12, I Pet. 3:1-6, and Phil. 4:11-13.
IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE...
So, ladies, go ahead and give some of your dollars to the greeting card companies, buy some new lingerie, and find a romantic place to eat out with your husband. These will hopefully add some "sizzle" to your love life. But, if you want lasting "heat" for these cold Frbruary days give your husband unconditional respect! Trust me, it works!..."And the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)
(Even if your husband is deployed or TDY, you can freely bathe him with unconditional respect. As the Lord for wisdom in ways to speak it, write it, and show it!)
***This is an article that I wrote for the Ft. Carson Protestant Women of the Chapel newsletter a couple of years ago. I thought I would share it with all of you.)
February is the time of year when we try to honor those that we love. We especially think of our husbands and romance; we look forward to adding some "sizzle" to our relationship with them! Greeting card companies, intimate apparel stores, and restaurants vie for our dollars. Now, before you go our and purchase anything this year I want you to think about giving a gift that will help keep the "home fires of love" burning hot for a very long time! Ladies, I encourage you to give your husbands the gift of unconditional respect. In order to do this we must have a proper "view" of our husband in his role, we must realize the necessity of forgiveness, we must see him as our one and only, and lastly, we must practically begin the daily exercise of respect.
AN ARMY OF ONE?...
First of all, we will be able to lavishly pour out respect upon our husbands by having a proper "view" of him and his role in our marriage. "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which He is the Savior." (Ephesians 5:23). Because our husbands have been given this position of headship they are endowed with great responsibilities, duties, and sacrifice on behalf of us, their wives. They are deeply dependent upon our honor to help them pursue the demands of biblical leadership. Nancy Wilson tells us how to do this in "The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman." She says, "We need to cultivate a high view of our husbands...He is one of a kind and God has a special work for him to do. You have the privilege of being God's appointed helper for him. Have a high view of this calling and a biblical view of your responsibilities associated with this calling. Your view will improve as you apply God's teaching. Your husband will appreciate your obedience and be set free to live up to all God has called him to be." We can ask the Lord to cultivate a proper "view" of our husband and his role so that we can freely give our respect without any reservations.
TOO MUCH DIRTY LAUNDRY...
Furthermore, we must realize the necessity of forgiveness in our marriage; without it, it is impossible to unconditionally respect our husbands because our natural minds will inevitably carry a "laundry list" of his past offenses. God in His Word counsels us, "Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (Colossians 3:13, Living Bible). Since we are to forgive as Christ forgave us, let's look at Jesus's example; He died on the Cross taking upon Himself all of our sins and offered us unconditional forgiveness. Note that He offered this even before we said that we were sorry! Through His power we are given the ability and strength to offer our husbands this same kind of forgiveness for past, present, and future mistakes and wrongs whether they were related to finances, job decisions, moral choices, parenting, etc. Not only are we called to forgive, but we are called to forgive an infinite number of times. Peter asked Jesus how many times we are to forgive one another. Peter wondered if seven times would be enough. Christ answered, "No--seventy times seven!!" (Matthew 18:22). Forgiveness makes giving the love gift of unconditional respect possible.
MY FATHER'S ADVICE...
In addition, we must see our husband as our one and only love holding hm in high regard; this makes it possible to bathe him in unconditional respect. "What is your perspective when you look at your husband? When you think of him, when you speak to him, when you pray for him, what is your view? Is it a biblical view? In the Song of Solomon 2:3 we see a delightful view of the beloved: 'Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, so is my beloved among the sons.' When you think of your husband, is he an apple tree in the forest? He should be. Or, do you see one tree in the forest, dwarfed by many other imposing trees of greater stature? Perhaps you need to adjust your view." (Fruit of Her Hands) Before I was married all of my friends and relatives knew of my high regard for my "one and only" speaking of his attributes to anyone who would listen! My father spoke of retaining that passionate love which held Cedric in high regard. He gave me one small but very important piece of advice in the week preceding my marriage to Cedric. He told me to "never forget my first love."
LOVE PILATES...
Finally, we must practically begin the daily exercise of respect by doing two things. First, I encourage you to write a "respect letter" itemizing the things you admire about him and have taken for granted. List them even if they seem trivial. Emphasize his work, abilities, and achievements. Leave love out of the letter until the very end. After the letter is written and given, begin showing respect "out loud." For instance, let your kids, neighbors, and relatives hear you praise him. God, the Master Creator, has designed your husband to need respect, and He commanded you to be the principle source of it. Secondly, I recommend that you memorize and meditate on Eph. 5:22-33, Prov. 14:1, 12:4, 30:5, 31:11-12, I Pet. 3:1-6, and Phil. 4:11-13.
IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE...
So, ladies, go ahead and give some of your dollars to the greeting card companies, buy some new lingerie, and find a romantic place to eat out with your husband. These will hopefully add some "sizzle" to your love life. But, if you want lasting "heat" for these cold Frbruary days give your husband unconditional respect! Trust me, it works!..."And the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)
(Even if your husband is deployed or TDY, you can freely bathe him with unconditional respect. As the Lord for wisdom in ways to speak it, write it, and show it!)
***This is an article that I wrote for the Ft. Carson Protestant Women of the Chapel newsletter a couple of years ago. I thought I would share it with all of you.)
Marriage...stay the course! We're walking alongside you!
Originally Posted on FB: March 2, 2009
My husband, Cedric, and I are enjoying the ministry of encouraging military couples in keeping their marriage covenants. It is amazingly rewarding, and sometimes it is heart wrenching; however, we can rest knowing that it is God who does the heart transforming work. Pray that this letter that I wrote to a young woman today will be received and taken to heart. Today, I took an hour to pen what God has taught me and laid upon my heart. I wanted to share it with you. Feel free to pass this letter on to others!
In Christ's Love,
Sandi Boehr
Dear *****,
I just got off the phone from counseling with a young woman who is married to an unbeliever, and he is not sure he wants to stay married. Needless to say, she is experiencing overwhelming rejection, loneliness, and pain. My heart literally aches for her. As we spoke, she asked if there was hope for their marriage and whether I had EVER seen God put a marriage "back together" that was in such a mess!! I have. And, as I spoke I explained that there are some things we have to remember. I want to pass these on to you as I think of the difficulties you & ***** are experiencing also. Please hear my heart!
1) God does His work. He does His work in His time! (He is our Redeemer & Restorer; it is an inseparable part of His character.)
We can trust Him and wait on Him; He has NOT abandoned us. Because we believe He is Sovereign, and that He loves His own, we trust Him through the "good and bad" to be doing a work in us to "conform us to His image." Romans 8:28&29. (Knowing this keeps us from throwing our hands up in despair when hard times hit. The way we walk through those times is directly in relation to how we view God and His Sovereignty---He loves His own, He is ALWAYS faithful, & He is allowing trials & struggles for a purpose---In other words, we are not "pawns" in the hands of a "random, reckless, or ruthlessly unloving God." He acts on our behalf on PURPOSE, and we can trust Him fully because of who HE is and because of HIS GREAT, RELENTLESS, UNYIELDING LOVE FOR HIS OWN CHILDREN!!!!)
"Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides You who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him. Isaiah 64:4
"He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it in Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
"But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator, He who formed you, do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are MINE!! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the river, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD, THE HOLY ONE OF ISRAEL, YOUR SAVIOUR." ISAIAH 43:1-3
(He is so clear that He NEVER abandons us, and His Word does work in our situations. *****, there is NOTHING new "under the sun" in our lives or marriages that is not "common" to God. In other words, He is not "surprised" by any situation in you and *****'s marriage. ---- His principles work when applied!! That's so encouraging, isn't it?)
2) When we have an estranged or "stormy, tumultuous" marriage the first person we need to look at "fixing" is ourselves!! As a wife I have to take my big lens off of my husband, look into the mirror of God's Word, and ask Him how I am affecting our marriage for bad or for good.
(I can personally tell you that for many years I had my lens on my husband, and I worked to change him thinking this would make our marriage what it should be. I was wrong. My own heart needed to be transformed through the Word.)
I'm not saying that my husband was always without fault; what I am saying is that I married a sinner who was also created in the "image of God, and in whom God is doing His work." Remember James 3:2 which says, "We all stumble in many ways!" I'm not my husband's Holy Spirit!----In addition, I'm also NOT saying that it is unbiblical to confront my husband in love or to deal with spiritual, emotional, sexual, financial, child rearing, and other issues.
What I AM saying is, it is HOW we deal with those issues as wives following the pattern set forth in Galatians 6:1&2. "If anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore (In this context, "restore" has to do with "setting/healing a broken bone") such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work.." We are to speak the "truth in love." It's a "tall order," but it is surely possible since God calls us to do it!!
Let's come back to examining ourselves. Am I respectful of my husband both in private and in public? Am I his "best friend" and do I work to give him a reason to come home...good food, good sex, a home in order, a sense of humor in the midst of the everyday trials that we ALL experience (Cars breaking down, long lines in the Army offices & in grocery lines, etc!) Or, is my life chronically all about me and fulfilling MY needs?
Let's look at a passage in I Peter. It is commonly quoted in relation to being married to an unbeliever, but that's not the context. One's husband might be an unbeliever, or one's husband who is a believer may not be obeying the Word. That is the context that Paul writes. (I can tell you, that I didn't "get" this message for a LONG time!!) "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior...Your adornment must not be merely external...but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God." I Peter 3:1-4
3) Lastly, we have to become "God-centered spouses!" A "spouse-centered spouse" treats the other spouse the way they have been treated for the last 48-72 hours. A God-centered spouse loves their spouse out of reverence for God!! Matt. 6:33 says "Seek first His kingdom, and all His righteousness, "...asking Him to change us..our selfishness, to grow our patience, our ability to understand our spouse, to teach us.. II Cor. 7:1 says, "Let us purify ourselves.." We want to "purify" or change everyone else including our spouses and children, but God ultimately wants us to respect our husbands out of reverence for HIM!
Remember, *****, you married a sinner. All the counseling in the world with all the "how-to's" in the world will not change our hearts. In fact, if counseling is for the purpose of "digging" up the past over and over or for the purpose of casting the "fault" on the other person, it will actually do more to contribute to the demise rather than to the healing of your marriage. Even "Christian" marriage counseling that is focused solely on the behavior rather than the heart and on the Designer of Marriage will ultimately fall on its face. We have to let God transform our hearts; this may take a long time as it has with me, but it is worth the journey.
I ask you to consider what I've said and to learn from me. What God has taught me I want to pass on to you so that your marriage may flourish! God has given my husband and I an unbelievably wonderful marriage of almost 32 years, but how we would have loved to have someone be honest with us and to disciple us in the early years! So, hear my heart, ****, and know that we will walk with you as you strive to walk in the Word allowing God to transform your marriage.
Stay the course, *****. Keep your covenant of marriage that you made with ***** before God. We love you two, and we are praying for you.
Committed to walking alongside you,
Sandi Boehr
My husband, Cedric, and I are enjoying the ministry of encouraging military couples in keeping their marriage covenants. It is amazingly rewarding, and sometimes it is heart wrenching; however, we can rest knowing that it is God who does the heart transforming work. Pray that this letter that I wrote to a young woman today will be received and taken to heart. Today, I took an hour to pen what God has taught me and laid upon my heart. I wanted to share it with you. Feel free to pass this letter on to others!
In Christ's Love,
Sandi Boehr
Dear *****,
I just got off the phone from counseling with a young woman who is married to an unbeliever, and he is not sure he wants to stay married. Needless to say, she is experiencing overwhelming rejection, loneliness, and pain. My heart literally aches for her. As we spoke, she asked if there was hope for their marriage and whether I had EVER seen God put a marriage "back together" that was in such a mess!! I have. And, as I spoke I explained that there are some things we have to remember. I want to pass these on to you as I think of the difficulties you & ***** are experiencing also. Please hear my heart!
1) God does His work. He does His work in His time! (He is our Redeemer & Restorer; it is an inseparable part of His character.)
We can trust Him and wait on Him; He has NOT abandoned us. Because we believe He is Sovereign, and that He loves His own, we trust Him through the "good and bad" to be doing a work in us to "conform us to His image." Romans 8:28&29. (Knowing this keeps us from throwing our hands up in despair when hard times hit. The way we walk through those times is directly in relation to how we view God and His Sovereignty---He loves His own, He is ALWAYS faithful, & He is allowing trials & struggles for a purpose---In other words, we are not "pawns" in the hands of a "random, reckless, or ruthlessly unloving God." He acts on our behalf on PURPOSE, and we can trust Him fully because of who HE is and because of HIS GREAT, RELENTLESS, UNYIELDING LOVE FOR HIS OWN CHILDREN!!!!)
"Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides You who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him. Isaiah 64:4
"He who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it in Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
"But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator, He who formed you, do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are MINE!! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the river, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD, THE HOLY ONE OF ISRAEL, YOUR SAVIOUR." ISAIAH 43:1-3
(He is so clear that He NEVER abandons us, and His Word does work in our situations. *****, there is NOTHING new "under the sun" in our lives or marriages that is not "common" to God. In other words, He is not "surprised" by any situation in you and *****'s marriage. ---- His principles work when applied!! That's so encouraging, isn't it?)
2) When we have an estranged or "stormy, tumultuous" marriage the first person we need to look at "fixing" is ourselves!! As a wife I have to take my big lens off of my husband, look into the mirror of God's Word, and ask Him how I am affecting our marriage for bad or for good.
(I can personally tell you that for many years I had my lens on my husband, and I worked to change him thinking this would make our marriage what it should be. I was wrong. My own heart needed to be transformed through the Word.)
I'm not saying that my husband was always without fault; what I am saying is that I married a sinner who was also created in the "image of God, and in whom God is doing His work." Remember James 3:2 which says, "We all stumble in many ways!" I'm not my husband's Holy Spirit!----In addition, I'm also NOT saying that it is unbiblical to confront my husband in love or to deal with spiritual, emotional, sexual, financial, child rearing, and other issues.
What I AM saying is, it is HOW we deal with those issues as wives following the pattern set forth in Galatians 6:1&2. "If anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore (In this context, "restore" has to do with "setting/healing a broken bone") such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work.." We are to speak the "truth in love." It's a "tall order," but it is surely possible since God calls us to do it!!
Let's come back to examining ourselves. Am I respectful of my husband both in private and in public? Am I his "best friend" and do I work to give him a reason to come home...good food, good sex, a home in order, a sense of humor in the midst of the everyday trials that we ALL experience (Cars breaking down, long lines in the Army offices & in grocery lines, etc!) Or, is my life chronically all about me and fulfilling MY needs?
Let's look at a passage in I Peter. It is commonly quoted in relation to being married to an unbeliever, but that's not the context. One's husband might be an unbeliever, or one's husband who is a believer may not be obeying the Word. That is the context that Paul writes. (I can tell you, that I didn't "get" this message for a LONG time!!) "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior...Your adornment must not be merely external...but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God." I Peter 3:1-4
3) Lastly, we have to become "God-centered spouses!" A "spouse-centered spouse" treats the other spouse the way they have been treated for the last 48-72 hours. A God-centered spouse loves their spouse out of reverence for God!! Matt. 6:33 says "Seek first His kingdom, and all His righteousness, "...asking Him to change us..our selfishness, to grow our patience, our ability to understand our spouse, to teach us.. II Cor. 7:1 says, "Let us purify ourselves.." We want to "purify" or change everyone else including our spouses and children, but God ultimately wants us to respect our husbands out of reverence for HIM!
Remember, *****, you married a sinner. All the counseling in the world with all the "how-to's" in the world will not change our hearts. In fact, if counseling is for the purpose of "digging" up the past over and over or for the purpose of casting the "fault" on the other person, it will actually do more to contribute to the demise rather than to the healing of your marriage. Even "Christian" marriage counseling that is focused solely on the behavior rather than the heart and on the Designer of Marriage will ultimately fall on its face. We have to let God transform our hearts; this may take a long time as it has with me, but it is worth the journey.
I ask you to consider what I've said and to learn from me. What God has taught me I want to pass on to you so that your marriage may flourish! God has given my husband and I an unbelievably wonderful marriage of almost 32 years, but how we would have loved to have someone be honest with us and to disciple us in the early years! So, hear my heart, ****, and know that we will walk with you as you strive to walk in the Word allowing God to transform your marriage.
Stay the course, *****. Keep your covenant of marriage that you made with ***** before God. We love you two, and we are praying for you.
Committed to walking alongside you,
Sandi Boehr
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I DO miss his lips!!! ....#1 Love Note
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| Enjoying a tender kiss while in San Diego with our family. May '10 |
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| Sweet reunion kisses after 3 months of Navy boot camp. Aug. '87 |
These thoughts this evening reminded me of what I was recently sharing with a group of ladies. I told them that Cedric & I "not only pursued our oneness, but that we actually fought for it!" This meant striving for oneness through the normal cares of life, the unplanned trials of life that hit you "out of the blue," hardships, sicknesses, financial challenges, and relationships that pull at the marriage, etc. In a nutshell, these were the things "where the rubber met the road;" these required us to make conscious decisions to either allow God to give us the grace to pursue oneness & unity or to give into being "separated" in our struggles, even though still being married.
Because the Lord planted a deep desire to glorify Him, we made the choice to press through the challenges towards oneness with each other-over and over-through the years! God is really the only One who deserves the glory for giving us the desire and grace to do so! He tells us in 2 Corinthians 2:9, "My grace is all you need; (My) power comes to its full strength in (your) weakness." Many times we would confess our weaknesses and our sins as we prayed together and pour out our hearts in desparate need for Him to work in our marriage. We sorely needed His help and strength and grace.
We weren't amazing; we just passionately loved one another and wanted to glorify Him. Over 34+ years, He was the One Who lovingly allowed us to be refined and shaped on His Potter's wheel, creating in our marriage an inseparable oneness in friendship, family relationships, purpose, desires, and motivation. We were one-spiritually, emotionally, & physically-just as He intended!
So, on that eve before entering eternity, Cedric and I could have great joy in kissing, dancing, laughing, and in our celebration of oneness one last time. And, God was glorified because our marriage reflected His picture of the delight of the groom in his bride and vice versa. I praise Him! And, I miss his lips!
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