Just a Little R-E-S-P-E-C-T...."And the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33

Originally Posted on FB: February 11, 2010

February is the time of year when we try to honor those that we love. We especially think of our husbands and romance; we look forward to adding some "sizzle" to our relationship with them! Greeting card companies, intimate apparel stores, and restaurants vie for our dollars. Now, before you go our and purchase anything this year I want you to think about giving a gift that will help keep the "home fires of love" burning hot for a very long time! Ladies, I encourage you to give your husbands the gift of unconditional respect. In order to do this we must have a proper "view" of our husband in his role, we must realize the necessity of forgiveness, we must see him as our one and only, and lastly, we must practically begin the daily exercise of respect.

AN ARMY OF ONE?...
First of all, we will be able to lavishly pour out respect upon our husbands by having a proper "view" of him and his role in our marriage. "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body, of which He is the Savior." (Ephesians 5:23). Because our husbands have been given this position of headship they are endowed with great responsibilities, duties, and sacrifice on behalf of us, their wives. They are deeply dependent upon our honor to help them pursue the demands of biblical leadership. Nancy Wilson tells us how to do this in "The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman." She says, "We need to cultivate a high view of our husbands...He is one of a kind and God has a special work for him to do. You have the privilege of being God's appointed helper for him. Have a high view of this calling and a biblical view of your responsibilities associated with this calling. Your view will improve as you apply God's teaching. Your husband will appreciate your obedience and be set free to live up to all God has called him to be." We can ask the Lord to cultivate a proper "view" of our husband and his role so that we can freely give our respect without any reservations.

TOO MUCH DIRTY LAUNDRY...
Furthermore, we must realize the necessity of forgiveness in our marriage; without it, it is impossible to unconditionally respect our husbands because our natural minds will inevitably carry a "laundry list" of his past offenses. God in His Word counsels us, "Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (Colossians 3:13, Living Bible). Since we are to forgive as Christ forgave us, let's look at Jesus's example; He died on the Cross taking upon Himself all of our sins and offered us unconditional forgiveness. Note that He offered this even before we said that we were sorry! Through His power we are given the ability and strength to offer our husbands this same kind of forgiveness for past, present, and future mistakes and wrongs whether they were related to finances, job decisions, moral choices, parenting, etc. Not only are we called to forgive, but we are called to forgive an infinite number of times. Peter asked Jesus how many times we are to forgive one another. Peter wondered if seven times would be enough. Christ answered, "No--seventy times seven!!" (Matthew 18:22). Forgiveness makes giving the love gift of unconditional respect possible.

MY FATHER'S ADVICE...
In addition, we must see our husband as our one and only love holding hm in high regard; this makes it possible to bathe him in unconditional respect. "What is your perspective when you look at your husband? When you think of him, when you speak to him, when you pray for him, what is your view? Is it a biblical view? In the Song of Solomon 2:3 we see a delightful view of the beloved: 'Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, so is my beloved among the sons.' When you think of your husband, is he an apple tree in the forest? He should be. Or, do you see one tree in the forest, dwarfed by many other imposing trees of greater stature? Perhaps you need to adjust your view." (Fruit of Her Hands) Before I was married all of my friends and relatives knew of my high regard for my "one and only" speaking of his attributes to anyone who would listen! My father spoke of retaining that passionate love which held Cedric in high regard. He gave me one small but very important piece of advice in the week preceding my marriage to Cedric. He told me to "never forget my first love."

LOVE PILATES...
Finally, we must practically begin the daily exercise of respect by doing two things. First, I encourage you to write a "respect letter" itemizing the things you admire about him and have taken for granted. List them even if they seem trivial. Emphasize his work, abilities, and achievements. Leave love out of the letter until the very end. After the letter is written and given, begin showing respect "out loud." For instance, let your kids, neighbors, and relatives hear you praise him. God, the Master Creator, has designed your husband to need respect, and He commanded you to be the principle source of it. Secondly, I recommend that you memorize and meditate on Eph. 5:22-33, Prov. 14:1, 12:4, 30:5, 31:11-12, I Pet. 3:1-6, and Phil. 4:11-13.

IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE...
So, ladies, go ahead and give some of your dollars to the greeting card companies, buy some new lingerie, and find a romantic place to eat out with your husband. These will hopefully add some "sizzle" to your love life. But, if you want lasting "heat" for these cold Frbruary days give your husband unconditional respect! Trust me, it works!..."And the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)

(Even if your husband is deployed or TDY, you can freely bathe him with unconditional respect. As the Lord for wisdom in ways to speak it, write it, and show it!)


***This is an article that I wrote for the Ft. Carson Protestant Women of the Chapel newsletter a couple of years ago. I thought I would share it with all of you.)